love makes seman taste better
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
