Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
