Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
