Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
