he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
