This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize