umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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