Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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