He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
