We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
