I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
