No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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