Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
