It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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