Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
