Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
