There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
