Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's the barista slut.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize