I think scott just propositioned me for sex
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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