She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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