Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I love you.
Bad choice
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
