Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
