remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize