why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
