in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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