I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
