ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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