don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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