Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
