Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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