I wish you could order shots online.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize