Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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