if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
