the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
