Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
