You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
