Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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