We named our party play list daddy issues
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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