So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
operation harelip BJ is a go
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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