Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
