i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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