haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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