Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
