The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
