I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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