After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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