after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize