I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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