So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize