You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
