i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
