Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Randomize
