I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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