i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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