i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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