He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize