He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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