were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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