I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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