party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
