FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
