so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize