Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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