Do you still have your period?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He? As in you personified your dick?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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