i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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