i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
